


Best Served Cold

by PFDiva



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Fluff, Gen, Multi, Other, Post-Sburb
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-05
Updated: 2015-02-05
Packaged: 2018-03-10 15:41:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,474
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3295811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PFDiva/pseuds/PFDiva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Breakfast after the end of the world</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best Served Cold

**Author's Note:**

> Ok, so I want you to imagine Mexican Striders, Black Lalondes, Japanese Crockerberts, Polynesian Harley-Englishes. Imagine trans John and Roxy, fat Jane, Rose and John, amazonian Jade, bara Jake, tall and reedy Roxy and Dave, short and broad John and Dirk, aromantic pansexual Jade, heteroromantic asexual John, quoiromantic quoisexual Dave, homoromantic asexual Jake, biromantic homosexual Rose and Dirk, biromantic bisexual Jane and Roxy, poly as fuck Rose, Jane, Dave, and Jade, monogamous as fuck John, Roxy, Jake and Dirk. Now that you have been appropriately primed, enjoy the story.

Jade was in Jake's lap again, a melted puddle of girl dripping over his shoulder, her eyes happily closed, arms loosely wrapped around him and the back of the chair she was sitting the wrong way in while he ate pancakes around her. When Dirk walked in, her ears flicked to alertness, then relaxed down again.

 

“Oh, look who's deigned to join us...”

 

Dirk blankly turned his gaze to Rose, who was smirking at him from where Jane was heaping speckled pancakes onto her plate. Probably chocolate or blueberry, from the looks of it. At the look on his face, Rose's grin melted into something more sympathetic, and she stepped away from Jane with a gracious gesture before gently informing him, “The bacon will be ready soon, and John's on sausage duty.”

 

Jane giggled, throwing Dirk a glance, “How many pancakes? They're chocolate chip.” Jane had a big, bushy mustache on, except it was affixed to her neck. The way Rose's hand trailed around Jane's back as she walked away told Dirk all he needed to know. It was probably also why Dave was mumbling raps over the kitchen table, rather than in his bedroom.

 

“Two, please.”

 

“....and then I just went Tadah~!”

 

Dirk lifted his feet enough to shuffle into the kitchen as he heard John's voice and Roxy's laughter. He ended up roughly behind Dave, who twitched up enough to see who was behind him, lifting a hand for a fistbump Dirk returned after an embarrassing moment of confused staring. Dave didn't seem to mind, and he went back to mumbling pancake and whipped cream raps.

 

John came into the kitchen like a burst of energy, talking with his hands at Roxy, who fondly grinned, holding a heaping plate of fragrant sausages, because everyone knew John couldn't be trusted with these sorts of things.

 

Jade came to life, climbing to her knees in Jake's lap, and leaning as far towards the pair as she could without literally climbing onto Jake's shoulder, letting loose a delighted exclamation of “Gimme!” to which Rose, Jane and John all chorused, “Gimme got shot!”

 

Roxy entrusted Rose with the sausages, and Dirk couldn't hear what Rose said to Roxy amid John and Jade bickering over Jake's head while Jake helplessly waved his empty maple syrup and whipped cream-stained plate at Rose in an entreaty for sausage or to put the plate in the sink, but Roxy flushed and beamed, turning to wiggle her butt at Rose, which earned her a laugh and a pat on that same butt.

 

Roxy went to talk to Jane, plucking at the mustache on her neck, getting her flailed at by a visibly-flustered Jane while Rose came to wiggle the plate of sausages under Dave's nose, “Would you like some, brother dearest?”

 

“I would like some shut the fuck up with a heaping helping of you soulless witch,” rambled Dave, the back of his neck flushing as he forked two sausages onto his plate. They were the big italian sausages, and they had grill marks. John was good at grilling, and Dirk tapped Dave's shoulder, causing the other boy to tip his head in acknowledgement and fork another pair of sausages onto his plate for Dirk.

 

Roxy screamed, and Dirk looked up to find Jane throwing the other girl over her shoulder. John, of course, immediately came to Roxy's defense, and he and Jane had a mini-strife while Roxy wiggled and laughed, John clearly trying to use his windy thing to snag Roxy while Jane poked at John with the butt end of her Skaia fork. It ended when Jade, who'd abandoned Jake's lap to follow the sausages, warped Roxy into her arms, earning her a delighted squeal and an overdramatic kiss.

 

Free of Jade's weight, Jake bounced over to the gathered assortment of blonds and Dirk slid closer to the table so Jake could get around behind Dave to reach Rose, his hand on the back of Dave's chair while Dave's mumbling sped up.

 

Rose immediately understood the problem and she merrily taunted Jake away from Dave, around the table, pausing to flip some pancakes and losing a pair of sausages to a triumphant Jake in the process.

 

A heavy weight hit Dirk's back, almost knocking him off-balance, arms wrapping about his shoulders, and a face nuzzling into his. He turned his head to find Jade beaming at him from way too close, and looked around to find John possessively hugging Roxy and insisting to Rose that Roxy was HIS girlfriend, and Rose needed to keep her wily lesbian hands off, to Roxy's continued laughter as she rested her arms on John's shoulders, Rose smirking and feigning annoyance as she dramatically sighed, “Biromantic, John.”

 

“Well, keep your wily biromantic hands off!”

 

Dirk looked at Jade, who was still grinning hopefully at him, and he graced her cheek with a smooch, patting her arm, “Still not sharing my sausage.” She whined and drooped, slinking over to Dave, who ineffectually batted at her until she was a puddle in his lap, his fingers scratching and rubbing at her back, up into her hair to tend her ears.

 

“Dirk~!”

 

He looked up to find Jane lifting a plate of pancakes at him, and he walked between where Jake was eating sausages with great gusto and where John was playfully growling at Rose around a laughing Roxy, accepting his plate from Jane with a smile she responded to with a warm side hug. Dirk dropped a kiss on her temple, grabbed a fork and was in the process of squirting whipped cream onto his pancakes when he felt his shirt move.

 

He glanced around to find Jake reading a post-it note, which he showed Dirk with a laugh. It said “Kiss me” and Dirk looked at Jane, who was pouting at Jake and giggling at Dirk's squint-eyed expression of disapproval. Not that she could see his eyes through his shades, but he was pretty sure the expression communicated.

 

Dirk retrieved his sausages from Dave, taking Dave's plate and tucking it under his own when Dave handed it over. He sat a couple seats away from Dave and Jade, eating his breakfast and watching Jake and Roxy talk while John apparently tried to explain something to Rose.

 

Jane slid her arms around Rose's waist, resting her chin on Rose's shoulder, earning her Rose's suspicious glance. Suspicions rightly confirmed when John produced the kind of pie that was all whipped cream in a pie tin. When had he even had time to make that? The oven dinged and Rose twisted out of the way just in time for John to pie Jane in the face, to explosive laughter from them both.

 

Rose looked faintly amused and bewildered as she set down the plate of sausages to retrieve oven mitts and pull the bacon out of the oven, and both Jake and Roxy were now also laughing at Jane, who was sharing her whipped cream by means of wiping it off her face and flicking it at John, Jake and Roxy, to their laughing screams.

 

Dirk slid out of his seat once Rose stepped clear of the bacon and snagged himself a few slices, “Hey, Dirk.” Dave was talking to him, and Dirk briefly glanced over before lifting a hand in acknowledgement. He grabbed some bacon for Dave, too, pulling Dave's plate from beneath his own. Of course, he had to wipe whipped cream and grease from the underside of his plate with a paper towel, but whatever.

 

He brought his plate back to where he'd been sitting and offered Dave his plate of bacon. Dave ate a couple slices, periodically offering some to Jade, who noisily enjoyed them. It suddenly hit Dirk. They'd won. This was the afterparty. Life was the afterparty. They were victorious. Yeah, the game had been over for over a year, but it was only just now hitting him. He was going to live. They all were. What did that even mean?

 

“Jade?”

 

Jade looked up as Dirk called her name, Dave peering around her. She gave Dave a brief squeeze and slid out of his lap before coming to take up residence in Dirk's lap. She was warm and solid, heavy weight pinning Dirk to his chair, and he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a tight squeeze, “...Thanks.”

 

She hummed in reply, and after a few moments, when he could breathe again, he patted her back. She gave his neck a kiss and returned to Dave's lap. Dirk continued eating as Rose and Jane came over, Jane sitting with her back against Dirk's arm as Rose “helped” Jane get the whipped cream off. This mostly involved Rose licking Jane's face and groping Jane's ass while Jane squirmed and breathlessly giggled.

 

Yeah, they were all going to live.

 

That was awesome.


End file.
